Not a nobody
by Iluvbeyblade
Summary: Ray has to stay with Kai after the Worlds. He finds out things about his crush that he would never have imagined in his wildest dreams. KaiRay. A little different from the usual Kai in a mansion thing...
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this story's been sitting in my documents for over a year now, and I've finally posted it! Hope you enjoy it! Warning: yaoi.

Disclaimer: Don't own Beyblade, Beyblade V-force, or Beyblade G-Revolution.

* * *

"Welcome to my humble home! Dump your stuff anywhere." Kai unlocked the door of the grubby apartment and Ray stepped inside, legs aching a little from the three flights of stairs. As he swung his bag onto a rickety chair, an all-too-familiar pain shot through his left shoulder. Letting out a muffled cry, he sank to his knees, clutching his shoulder, feeling the roughness of the bandage between his fingers.

"Ray! Are you all right?" Ray could only moan in reply to Kai's concern, eyes half-closed in pain. He felt himself being gently helped to his feet and through another door, and vaguely saw a pair of bright green eyes watching him intently. _Great, now I'm hallucinating! _he groaned mentally, as he was sat down on what felt like a sofa. Gradually, the pain faded away. Slumping against something warm and solid, he took several slow breaths, trying to pull himself together.

"Enjoying yourself down there?" came an amused voice from somewhere above him. Blearily, Ray opened his eyes. Suddenly, he realised that he was leaning heavily on Kai's chest, almost sitting in the older blader's lap. Blushing furiously, he tried to pull away, but his head was still spinning too much and he couldn't move. Seeing the other boy's embarrassment, Kai quickly eased him off his lap. "What's the matter?" he smirked. "Am I not a good pillow?" Ray laughed quietly and aimed a shaky punch at Kai's head. Laughing despite himself, Kai got off the sofa. "Obviously not. I'm gonna make myself a drink. You want anything? Tea? Coffee?"

"Tea would be good, please." Ray said weakly, trying to lever himself off the sofa. Strong hands pushed him straight back down again.

"Oh no you don't. You're staying right there!" Kai ordered. Pausing to make sure that Ray was obeying him, he strode into the kitchen, where loud banging suggested that he was having some difficulty finding the tea.

Ray leaned his head back against the sofa. He was here, in Kai's flat, because after the World Championships had ended, it was obvious that he was in no state to fly back to China. For almost a week after the match, he hadn't even been able to stand up unassisted. He would never understand how he had been able to celebrate with the others directly after Tyson's astounding win. Adrenaline, he supposed. He had collapsed shortly afterwards, didn't really remember much of the next few weeks. Even after he had recovered slightly, regular shocks of pain from his damaged shoulder registered him as unfit to fly. Because of this, he had needed a place to stay until he was fit to leave again. Tyson, being Tyson, had instantly offered his house for Ray to "crash." as he put it. Surprisingly, Kai had also offered his place, as he was staying in Russia. After much deliberation, Ray had chosen Kai's flat. There were three main reasons.

1. He still got tired very easily, and Tyson was on the go 24/7 (plus, Ray didn't think that he could cope with Tyson's snoring. It was hard enough to get to sleep at night as it was.)

2. He knew that Tyson never felt very comfortable around pain, it made the younger boy feel useless, and given the way he was at the moment…it just wasn't a good idea.

3. The flight to Japan was even longer than the one to China.

Plus, a reason that was so stupid, he wasn't even going to _think _about it…

* * *

Kai opened a cupboard door and took out a battered packet of tealeaves. _There you are!_ he thought triumphantly.

_Who's the boy?_ a voice asked.

_Shut it, Ebs. _Kai thought back. _I'm busy. _He tore the top off the packet and set about making tea. He knew full well that Ebony would disapprove of him taking Ray in; she would say that he had quite enough on his plate at the moment. But he couldn't just let Ray suffer, which he would have if he had gone and stayed at Tyson's. He knew his flat wasn't much, but with his allowance from that bastard of a grandfather, Voltaire gone, he had had to make do with what Mr. Dickenson could find for him, and what he could get off his part-time "job". Finishing the tea, he poured a mug of coffee from the pot that he'd made half an hour before, set them both on a crooked tray, and walked into the living room. Seeing Ray apparently asleep, he set the tray down and prepared to walk out again.

"I am awake, you know." Ray opened his eyes and looked straight at Kai.

"Good. Here's your tea." Kai handed the cup over and watched as Ray sipped it. "Feeling better?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he flung himself onto the sofa, which creaked in protest. Ray nodded and replaced the cup on the tray, looking around the room.

The living room, as with the flat itself, had seen better days. Peeling dark green wallpaper hung from the walls and the brown carpet was threadbare and worn. There was as little furniture as possible. The dirty cream sofa that they were sitting on, a side table next to it, a chair that could have been brown or black, it was hard to tell, and a small TV. The single window let in what faint sunshine that there was to be had in Russia. "It's not much, but it's…good enough." Kai said with a smirk. "I promise it's cleaner than it looks!" Ray snorted with laughter. Suddenly, he stopped, on the alert. "What?" Kai asked.

"Do you have a cat?"

"Yeah. How did you-"

_He can sense me, can't you?_ A small black cat stepped slowly into the room, green eyes blazing.

Ray sighed inwardly, straightening up. Great. Just what he needed, a territorial female cat! Kai looked in surprise at Ray. He'd always thought that he was the only one who could hear Ebony, yet Ray had reacted when she spoke.

_Of course he did, you stupid boy. _Ebony said disdainfully, prowling round Ray. She turned to Kai._ Why didn't you tell me that you knew a half-caste?_

"A what?" Kai said out loud.

"A half-caste. A neko-jin." Ray said flatly. He looked at the black cat warily. She met his gaze full on, every motion she made indicating her territorialsuperiority.

_You speak good Human._ he thought matter-of-factly.

_Of course I do. You think Kai can understand Cat? It was hard enough getting him to understand mind-talk, let alone teach him another language! Do you speak Cat?_

_Mind-talk or audible?_

_Audible. You can obviously mind-talk. I want to see Kai's face._

_All right._

"**Mrow, Kai-mea, Mau!" **Ray burst out laughing at the confused look on Kai's face. It was a very rare thing to see Kai at a loss, and very, _very_ funny!

"What the heck did you just say, Ray?"

_He said: Wow, Kai has a cat!_ the black cat purred. Kai looked, nonplussed, at Ray, who was now rolling around on the sofa, clutching his stomach. "All right, would either of you two care to tell me what the hell is going on?"

_This boy is a half-caste, as I said before, a half-blood, with two genetic codes. In your clumsy language, a neko-jin, humanoid-cat. As a result, he can speak Cat, which is, of course, the noblest language in the world-_

_Yes, I get the point._ Kai answered hurriedly.

_There's no point in **you **thinking. Unless I specifically block him, the half-caste can hear our conversations as easily as if we were talking out loud. It's most annoying. You shouldn't have brought him here._

_I take it that you blocked that last bit?_

_Certainly not! He should know what I think of him!_

"Nice cat you've got there, Kai." Ray said dryly, confirming what Ebony had just said. "What's the story?"

"Very long, and not particularly relevant." Kai answered shortly. Ray shrugged carelessly, accidentally pulling the damaged muscle. Wincing, he grabbed his shoulder again.

_You are injured? _Ebony inquired, her tone softening slightly.

"It's nothing…" Ray muttered, massaging the persistent ache.

_Let me see._ The black cat leapt up onto the arm of the chair and sniffed delicately at Ray's left shoulder.

_You did this while doing that ridiculous sport, beyblading?_

"Beyblading isn't ridiculous!" Kai and Ray said in unison. Ignoring them, Ebony continued to sniff, wincing at the strong smell of blood and metal coming from the wound.

_Looks painful._ she commented.

"It's nothing!" Ray repeated, more firmly this time. Suddenly, Ebony brought her head up and, jumping on to Ray's lap, began to nose eagerly at his pocket. Perplexed, Ray looked at Kai.

"I _think_ she wants to see Driger." Kai said, looking just as puzzled as Ray. Reaching into his pocket, Ray drew out Driger and held it out to the cat. Ebony sat abruptly down and stared at the grey beyblade, her tail lashing from side to side. Ray heard Kai groan and turned his head.

"What's up?" he asked.

"She can sense bit-beasts. And by the looks of it, she's got the hots for Driger, big time. _Great_. Ebony," Kai reasoned, scooping her off of Ray's lap and holding her in front of him. "You can't screw Driger. He's a _bit-beast_. Plus, he's a tiger, not a cat!" He stared at her for a few seconds, then shook his head in disgust and put the wriggling cat back down on Ray's lap, where she went straight back to staring at Driger. "Are you getting this?" he asked incredulously. Ray nodded, listening to Ebony's love-struck ramblings.

_Mmm…big, strong…ooh…warm… _The cat started rubbing herself against the blade, purring loudly.

"I think I'm gonna throw up!" Kai said loudly. Striding into the kitchen, he filled a glass to the brim with water and went back in. "All right, you mangy flea bag!" he threatened. "Either you cool off, _now_, or I cool you down myself!" He held the glass at a dangerous angle above her head. Glaring at him, Ebony regretfully backed away from Driger. "Sex-mad cat!"

_Just following your good example._ Ebony said smoothly. Kai froze, red beginning to flood his face.

"What?" Ray said, suddenly interested. Kai looked desperately at Ray, who was beginning to smirk.

_You mean he hasn't told you yet? Guess he wanted to keep it a secret. Wouldn't have been much of a secret if you'd walked in on him, mind you. One slut after another, that's all he thinks about, not just sluts either, sometimes it's-_

_**SPLASH!**_

With a yowl, Ebony disappeared underneath the sofa, then came out seconds later, utterly saturated. Shaking herself violently, she spat viciously at Kai.

_Urgh…cold…wet…horrible…Kai, you little ----!_

"What did she just call me?" Kai demanded furiously, turning to Ray, who was incoherent with laughter.

"A _very_…bad word…in Cat!" Ray choked. "I'm not even sure that there's a human equivalent! If there is, it's probably unrepeatable." Kai's face darkened and he picked Ebony roughly up by the scruff of her neck.

"You and me are going to have a little talk." he ground out from between clenched teeth. Standing up abruptly, he walked quickly into the kitchen, slamming the door behind him. Ray crept to the door and pressed his ear to the faded wood.

_Block us. Now._

_But Kai-_

_NOW! _

The rest of the conversation was inaudible, just some low buzzing. Hissing in annoyance, Ray made his way back to the sofa. He loved hearing Kai being angry with someone that wasn't Tyson, Max, or Kenny. Or himself, of course. He sighed, one hand automatically rubbing at his aching shoulder. He didn't want to be like this, he _hated_ being dependant on someone, even Kai…

* * *

Suddenly, the door opened and Ebony crept through, casting wary glances behind her as she slunk over to Ray.

_Whoa, was he ever angry! _she breathed, slipping into Cat automatically. _That's the last time I do that for a while! _

_Bad luck!_ Ray answered sympathetically. He hadn't spoken to a cat for years. It was good to be speaking Cat, or rather, thinking it, again, and Ebony was far more intelligent than most cats.

_Yeah, _Ebony continued._I've got to apologise to you for being rude, and for sizing Driger up - that is one **fit **feline by the way - and for swearing in front of you. So, sorry, I suppose._

_It's fine. Where's Kai?_

_Still in there, being angry. I really don't see-_

"Ray, your room's through the third door on the right and your stuff's where you left it." Kai's abrupt speech cut through their conversation. Ray mentally reeled backwards at the controlled fury in Kai's voice.

_Hey, I did say he was angry. _Ebony said, blinking slowly.

_Why is he **so** angry? You didn't do anything **that** bad…_

_I'd rather not say._ the cat said flatly, staring at the floor.

_You sound a lot like Kai when you say that._

_Well, I've got to pick something up from him; after all we've been together for most of our lives._

_You have?_

_Yes. Now then, shouldn't you get to your room?_ Ray shrugged.

_Okay.

* * *

_

Well, what do you think? All opinions welcome, however,please try not to flame! They make me really unhappy! 


	2. Chapter 2

Okay,I apologise in advance, this chapter is far, far too long. Once again: I do not own Beyblade

* * *

Ray placed his bag on the floor and looked around.

"Man, whoever decorated this place was either mad or blind drunk!" he said to himself. "What's with the freaking green wallpaper again?" He sat down on the low, slightly sagging bed. Automatically, he bent down and looked under the bed, a habit preserved from growing up in a village where cockroaches and rats were a common occurrence. A grin spread across his face and he pulled out a battered portable bey-dish. "Brill!" he breathed. His face darkened as he remembered.

Doctor's orders.

No beyblading.

"Oh well," he muttered. "What they don't know won't hurt them." He drew out Driger from his pocket and unzipped his bag. After much rummaging around, he found what he wanted. Fitting Driger to the launcher, he stood up.

"3, 2, 1, Let it rip!" he cried, careful to keep his voice down.

* * *

Kai scrubbed furiously at the dishes, needing a way of venting his anger on something that wouldn't fight back.

_What is it that you feel for the half-caste?_ Ebony asked softly, slinking up behind him and settling comfortably on the counter. A violent splash warned her that she wasn't welcome, and she jumped off. Twisting herself round his ankles, she continued. _I've never felt you like you were when the half-caste-_

"His name is Ray." Kai grunted.

_Fine then, when Ray was lying against you._

"He was hurt. I felt sympathy, Ebony, nothing more." The dishcloth in his hands began to fray at the edges.

_Nothing more? Even sympathy, from **you**, is a rare occurrence._

"So? And while we're on the subject, never, ever, _ever_ mention my sex life in front in of him again, you got it?" The dishcloth ripped loudly down the middle.

_I don't see why not. It's a very…interesting one. Why can't I tell him?_

"Because I said so!" Kai snapped. In the silence that followed, Ebony's ears pricked up, and she ran out of the room. Irritably, Kai threw the torn dishcloth into the bin. "Ray is a friend, a team mate." he said out loud. "Nothing more." The anger slowly started to fade away. "I can't let him be anything more…" he murmured, eyes suddenly seeing something other than the cramped kitchen. "Why would he want someone like me?" Then, even quieter, "Who would _ever_ want me now?" Shaking himself, he brought himself fiercely back to the present. Wondering what had caught Ebony's attention, he listened. The unmistakeable noise of beyblading came to his ears. He forced a grin, shoving his black mood to the corner of his mind. "So, Ray found the bey-dish, did he?" He turned and strode out of the door.

* * *

Two hours later, noticing the increasing ache in his arm, Ray began to finish up.

"All right Driger, right turn!" he ordered. Suddenly, a blue beyblade appeared, crashing headlong into Driger.

_Kai!_ The grey blade skidded backwards with Ray frantically trying to steady it. Looking up, the neko-jin saw the team captain standing in the doorway, a faint smile curving his lips. Kai raised an eyebrow and nodded downwards. Looking hurriedly down again, Ray saw Driger struggling to stay spinning under the barrage of powerful attacks Dranzer was dealing. Suddenly, the blue blade drew back, then rushed forwards, knocking Driger easily out of the dish. Ray caught his blade in mid-air and started checking it for damage.

"It should be fine." Kai said, stepping into the room, Dranzer flying into his hand. "I knew it wouldn't take you too long 'til you found that." He nodded towards the dish. "A month in hospital's definitely not to be recommended for blading, though." Ray laughed, nodding.

"Yeah. Pulling the ripcord again felt really peculiar." he agreed. Once again, one hand went to his shoulder. He pulled a face.

"What is it? Does it hurt?" Ray shook his head, bending down to unzip his bag again.

"The dressing needs changing." he said, voice muffled by the bag.

"Would you rather do that by yourself?" Kai asked, already knowing the answer. Ray's pride was stronger than anything else, including common sense.

"If you don't mind." Ray said apologetically. Kai shrugged.

"No problem." he said easily, turning to walk out of the door. Just before he crossed the threshold, his hand slid casually open. Dranzer fell to the floor.

Ebony watched with narrowed eyes from the corridor. Kai never let Dranzer out of his sight, not ever. She shrugged mentally. At least this proved she was right. As usual.

Ray pulled out a roll of bandages and set about gently unwrapping the ones on his shoulder. Once they were off, Ray reached for some cotton wool. Stopping for a moment, he looked at the injury. A difficult feat, considering he was having to look at his shoulder. A dead straight line, scabbed over and still swollen and red. Bryan had done a good job. The wind from his beyblade's vicious attacks had sliced through the top layer of muscle. Not deeply, just enough to leave him, a month on, with these agonising jolts of pain. Snapping out of his thoughts, he carried on reaching for the cotton wool. Suddenly, white-hot pain shot up his arm again. Doubling over and hissing in pain, Ray mentally berated himself for not stopping his blading practice earlier. Through a daze, he saw Kai come back in and bend down, presumably to pick something up.

"Sorry to interrupt, I left Dranzer here - Ray!" Ray couldn't see, couldn't think, the pain was blinding him, it hadn't been this bad for over two weeks-

"H-Help…"

Kai ran in and sat down on the bed, gently pulling the semiconscious boy against him. Murmuring soothingly, he picked up the cotton wool Ray hadn't been able to get to.

"Ssh Ray, it's all right, everything's gonna be fine, I promise." Going into the bag, he found what he wanted; a water bottle. Tipping a few drops of cool water onto the cotton wool, he drew the damp wool gently across the wound. He'd read Ray's medical notes, the torn muscles contracting caused these spasms of pain. Finishing cooling the wound off, he put his hand on Ray's hot shoulder and began rubbing softly, his breath involuntarily catching as he felt how tightly the muscles were bunched.

_Is that really why you flinched? Or is it because-_

_Go to hell, Ebs! _he snarled mentally, seeing the cat crouched in the doorway, eyes gleaming. Feeling the muscles start to unclench, he switched his attention to Ray who was starting to wake up slightly, his eyelids fluttering.

"Huh? W-What happened?" the neko-jin murmured, instinctively trying to pull away. Kai held him still, reaching for the bandages.

"It's okay, Ray. Your shoulder starting playing up again, that's all." He wound the bandages round and round, finally tucking the end neatly away.

"Yeah…I remember…it hurt…it's not supposed to hurt like that - why did it hurt like that?" Kai placed his hand lightly over Ray's mouth, effectively silencing him. Dazed, unfocused amber eyes stared up at him.

"What's happ-"

"Ssh, just try to stay calm, okay?" Nodding obediently, Ray relaxed, his head lolling back against Kai's chest, eyes closing again. Carefully, Kai lifted him onto the bed and drew the covers over him.

"K-Kai? Kai, is that you?"

"Yes, Ray. Try to get some sleep. You need to rest."

"I'm sorry for being such an nuisance…"

"Don't be stupid, of course you're not. Now go to sleep!" Kai ordered.

"Your wish is my command…" Ray murmured, a slight smile on his face. He nuzzled comfortably into the pillow. Smiling back, Kai stood and walked out of the room.

_And even after that, you still insist that you feel nothing for this Ray?_ Ebony asked sceptically, staring up at Kai.

_I do. _Kai thought back steadily.

_Blind, stupid, ignorant…human!_ Ebony grumbled, stalking away with her tail held high.

"I _can't _feel anything for him." Kai muttered hopelessly, staring after her. "He deserves far better than me." Letting out a long sigh, he walked in the living room and picked up his wood-carving knife. Ebony jumped up onto his lap and settled down, purring contentedly as he stroked her absentmindedly. He pulled something out and began to chip away at it.

* * *

Ray sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes. Checking his shoulder, he found that it was already bandaged.

_Kai must have done it. _he thought. He couldn't remember much of what had happened, just a few vague memories of somebody talking quietly to him and lots of pain. _Why is it that Kai has to see me when I'mso **weak**? _He reddened furiously. _That's probably how he sees me. As a weak little kid who happens to be his team mate. And how do I see him?_ _No! I promised I wouldn't think about that…_He sighed helplessly, flopping back onto the bed, which creaked alarmingly. When he had first seen Kai, back at that Beyblade Battle Tournament, he had thought, as they all had, _Whoa, someone got out the wrong side of bed this morning! _Then, when he had realised that Kai was like that normally, and apparently couldn't care less about the Bladebreakers, he had kept his distance. But he'd always respected their leader, it had been hard not to, considering the amount of times he'd got them out of scrapes. Gradually, that respect had grown into a wary friendship, with the two of them always choosing beds next to each other so that they could talk when everyone else was asleep, generally about how the team were doing. Kai was still cold and reserved when they were talking, but he had begun to show Ray a much softer side to the "sourpuss", as Tyson called him. Then, when Kai had defected to the Demolition Boys, Ray had become aware that the absence of their leader had left him feeling oddly empty, like he was missing something.

As the others were all feeling something akin to what Ray was feeling, he hadn't really paid it much attention. But when Kai had come back, Ray had started to notice that he was watching Kai a lot more, that every time he spoke to him, his heart rate picked up and he had to concentrate to stop himself from blushing. He had had crushes before, but never on a boy, and never…never on somebody who so obviously wouldn't be interested. This wasn't even a crush, if he was totally honest with himself, it was far worse. Somehow, he had managed to fall in love with the one person who he just knew didn't give a damn about him, except possibly as a casual friend. It wasn't even suddenly discovering that he was gay that was bothering him, it was who had madehim gay…

"Why?" he cried suddenly. "Why'd it have to be Kai? Of all people…why him?"_ Pull yourself together, Ray!_ he snapped mentally. _It's not the end of the world! Get up, stop acting like a complete idiot, and go and talk to him! Act normal for once! Show him that you're not just a pathetic little kid!_ "All right, all right, I'm going!" he snapped. "Great. Now I'm talking to myself!" Grumbling under his breath, he pulled himself off the bed. His foot bumped into something. Looking down, he saw his water bottle lying on the floor. "Odd. Kai must've got it out." Shrugging, he walked out of the bedroom.

* * *

"Hey, Kai."

"Hey, Ray." Kai answered without looking up. "How are you?"

"I'm fine now, thanks. How long have I been asleep for?" Kai squinted at the clock on the wall, very aware of the bottle that he'd just shoved down the side of the sofa.

"About an hour and a half. It's about eight o'clock." he said, rolling the object he was holding in his palm.

"What you got there?" Ray asked, walking over to stand next to Kai. "Is that Dranzer?" Kai gave a half-smile.

"Take a look." He placed the object in Ray's hand, taking the opportunity to look up and study Ray carefully. The younger blader looked slightly pale, perhaps not fully awake yet. He watched as Ray sat down beside him, a frown appearing on the neko-jin's face as he looked at the item in his hand. He felt a powerful desire to reach up and smooth those frown lines away from the boy's forehead with his thumb, then take him in his arms, see those beautiful, shimmering amber eyes looking at him again with total trust… He scowled and pushed the thought as far away from him as possible. He couldn't have Ray, he _wouldn't _have Ray, and that was all there was to it.

"Whoa, Kai, what _is _this?" Ray's amazed voice broke through his self-pity.

"Wood carving. A little hobby of mine." he said dryly. "So, is it any good, do you think?" Forcing a grin, he pulled Dranzer out of his pocket and held it next to the wooden copy. It had taken him over four months to finish it, most of which had been late at night in various hotel rooms when no one else was awake.

"Kai, this is…brilliant!" Ray breathed. The copy was virtually indistinguishable from Dranzer. The only difference was the weight - Dranzer was far heavier - and the fact that the copy's colours looked almost too perfect. "You're telling me you did this…by yourself…wow." He sat back in the sofa, still staring at the blade and its twin. "Wow." he repeated.

"I take it that means you're impressed?" Ray looked at Kai. The older boy had a slight smirk on his face, but there was a hint of nervousness there too, as if he was waiting for Ray's seal of approval.

"_Impressed_?" Ray said disbelievingly. "If I could do something like this…" He trailed off. "Yes." he said finally. "I'm impressed."

"Good." Kai grinned. "I cut myself to ribbons making that damn thing. It's good to know someone else appreciates it."

"You cut yourself? Where?" Ray asked anxiously. _Oh yeah, Ray. Real smooth! _he chastened himself.

"It's nothing." Kai said firmly.

"Show me your hands." Ray ordered. _Might as well go all the way. Oops, that sounded kinda wrong…Shut up, brain!_ With a growl of annoyance, Kai stuck out his left hand. Ray eyed it carefully, noticing one particularly deep cut right in the middle of the palm. "Let me see that. It looks sore…" he said, leaning forwards. As his fingers lightly brushed Kai's palm, it was as if a jolt of electricity sizzled up his arm, a bolt of pure attraction shot between them. Both boys paused, then carried on as if nothing had happened.

"So, do you want anything to eat?" Kai questioned, straightening up.

"What? Yeah, that'd be good, I'm starving!" Ray said enthusiastically. Turning on his heel, Kai strode into the kitchen. Still reeling from that split second, Ray followed him in. Ebony stayed outside, her tail lashing from side to side in annoyance. She had never seen two people who were more suited to each other, or more attracted. But they continued to deny their feeling for each other. Idiots. Complete idiots, both of them. Letting out a small growl of frustration, she stalked into the kitchen after them.

* * *

"What do you want?" Kai asked, head deep in the fridge.

"Dunno. What've you got?"

"Um…lots of alcohol…pasta…pizza…salad…"

"Pizza sounds good, thanks." Ray said, settling himself down at the small table.

"All right, pizza it is. You drink?"

"Depends what there is."

"What? More listing? Why can't you just come and look for yourself? Kai's voice sounded amused.

"Because your head's in the way." Ray said dryly.

"Fine then, I'll make the decision for you. Catch." Kai flung a can of beer in Ray's general direction and backed out of the fridge with another can in one hand and two pizzas in the other. Walking to the microwave, he gave the instructions on the back of the cling-film a cursory glance and chucked them both in, turning it up to high for two minutes. "If they burn, it's not my fault." he commented, leaning against the counter. He began to "idly" finger the ring pull on the can.

"Uh-uh, Kai, no drinking on an empty stomach." Ray chided mischievously.

"Yes, but once I've started drinking, it won't _be_ empty, will it?" Kai grinned. This new good mood was starting to make Ray wonder just how many of the cans in the fridge Kai had been opening while he was asleep.

_Ah, Kai's logic. Can't argue with it, can't beat him over the head with it! Also, unfortunately for him, you can't drink it._ Ebony purred. She paced up to Kai and started winding herself in-between his ankles, nearly tripping him up.

"Go away, Ebs." Kai groaned, reaching down to try and detangle her from around his legs.

_Well, maybe if you FED me, I might not be so cranky!_ hissed the cat. Muttering death-threats under his breath, Kai swung around and opened a cupboard. Getting out a tin of cat food, he bent down and scooped it into a red bowl on the floor.

_Hurry up, hurry up!_ Ebony yowled, butting his arm with her head.

"Done. Happy now?" Kai stood up and watched in amusement as the cat dived for her bowl. "Remind you of anyone?" he asked, turning to Ray, who grinned and nodded, hearing a "ping".

"Tyson in a furry coat." he laughed. "Pizza's ready, by the way."

"Oh yeah." Kai opened the door and shoved the pizzas onto two plates, which he put down on the table. "Let's eat!"

Wiping a strand of piping-hot cheese from his cheek, Ray pulled open his can and took a mouthful. Kai was already halfway down his second can, and getting merrier by the minute.

"Hey, Kai?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Exactly how much did you drink while I was asleep?" Kai flushed guiltily, hurriedly putting his can down on the table.

"Not much." he mumbled, refusing to meet Ray's eyes.

"Not much being…"

_About a bottle. _Ebony told him smugly.

"Flipping heck! A bottle of what?" Ray demanded out loud.

_Vodka, I think._

_Holy mother of…Kai you… _

_It's down the side of the sofa if you want to go and see for yourself._

"No, I'll pass, thanks." Ray grinned. Taking another mouthful of his own beer, he looked at Kai, who was bright red with embarrassment and shooting hate-filled glances at the smug cat.

"How did you guess?"

"You don't get tipsy off one and a half cans of Stella, Kai." There was silence for almost half an hour, during which Kai finished his pizza, the second can of beer and started on his third.

_If you want to ask him anything, now would be an excellent time to do it. _Ebony commented. _He's in a good mood at the moment._ Ray silently thanked her. There were a lot of things that he wanted to ask Kai, one of them being "what side of the bed do you sleep on?" but he settled for two of the least personal, and least embarrassing.

"Um, Kai?"

"Yeah?"

"Mr Dickenson said something about me being able to phone the guys…"

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that!" Kai exclaimed. "The phone's in the hallway, and the numbers are beside it."

"Okay, thanks. Kai, can I ask you something else?"

"Hey, fire away."

"What's the story behind you and Ebony, then?" Ray held his breath, watching as Kai exchanged a wary glance with the cat in the corner.

"Not much to tell, really." Kai said guardedly. "I was given Ebs when I was…how old, Ebs?" he asked, looking at her.

_You were one, Kai. I was seven months._ Ebony answered. Ray blinked in surprise.

"That makes Ebony quite old for a cat." he said. Kai looked at him in equal surprise.

"It does?"

_SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE HALF-BLOOD BASTARD!_ Ebony shrieked frantically, switching to Cat and blocking Kai from the conversation. She tried to calm down, seeing the confusion on Ray's face. _I have never told Kai how long cats live for. I'm the closest thing Kai has to a mother, he isn't ready yet to be told that I'm old. He'd panic. If you dare mention it, I swear I will scratch your eyes out! _Her eyes were open wide, glittering emerald with emotion.

_Okay, okay!_ Ray thought hurriedly.

"Ebony has just informed me," he said, thinking fast. "that she intends to beat the record for the oldest cat."

"Which is?" Kai asked, taking a long swallow from his latest can.

"Dunno. I think it's about thirty one or something like that?" He literally _saw_ Kai relax. Ebony was right, Kai wasn't ready to hear about that yet. "So, you got given Ebony. What then?"

"Just that. Apart from when I was with you lot, we haven't been apart since."

"So, she was with you in the Abbey?" Ray said incredulously. Kai nodded.

"Yup." Ray narrowed his eyes at the flippant reply. Kai was never flippant. Not about something like the Abbey.

"Kai, do me a favour. Walk across the room for me, would you?" Shrugging, Kai climbed to his feet and walked unsteadily across the room. Ray watched as the older blader crashed into an open cupboard door, nearly falling.

"Fuck! How the hell did that get there?" Draining the last of his fifth can, Kai sat back down, then started to get back up again. "I need another drink…"

With a sigh, Ray stood up and lazily finished off his own second can. He strode over and put a commanding hand on Kai's shoulder, pushing him back into his seat.

"You've had enough, Kai."

"Oh _what_…" Kai moaned, trying to push Ray off him.

"Kai, you're drunk."

"Am not!"

"Yes, you are." He looked at Kai. Kai, with flushed cheeks and over-bright eyes, looked defiantly back.

_Compared with what he's like normally, he's practically sober. But he could probably do with stopping._ Ebony agreed.

"See? Even Ebony agrees with me!" Kai scowled and tried to get up again.

"I'm not drunk!" he snapped.

"I've heard it all before, Kai. I know when someone's smashed. You are _not _having any more to drink, understand?"

"Go to hell! I'll do what I bloody well want!" Kai snarled. Ray sighed again. It was always much harder to convince people when they were angry. Ignoring the furious mutterings, he reached out and gently touched Kai's flushed cheek. Silence fell. Kai looked stunned.

"No more, Kai." Ray whispered, trying to blank out the feel of Kai's warm skin against his fingers. "No more, you hear?" Slowly, Kai nodded, still looking stunned. He flopped back in his seat, breaking Ray's touch. Ray straightened up hurriedly. "I'll get you a drink of water. You feel hot." He swung round to the sink just in time as a furious blush started spreading across his cheeks. Ebony watched with interest.

"Here." Ray handed the silent Kai a glass of water.

"Thanks." Kai muttered as he pressed the cool glass to his hot forehead. He leaned back and let out a long sigh, tipping the icy water down his throat.

"Better?"

"Yeah." He stood up slowly, holding onto the table for support. "I'm gonna go siddown in the living room. You coming?"

"As if I'd leave you alone in a room at the moment!" Ray replied with a grin. Kai gave him a weak half-grin in return and walked shakily into the living room, still trying to shake off the feeling of Ray's hand resting on his cheek.

* * *

Again,I am _**so**_ sorry for the ridiculous length of this chapter! It's actually been cut in half, it could be almost twice as long!Review, please! 


	3. Chapter 3

Right, this is really just the end of Chapter 2 (?) so it might not make much sense on its own. Happy reading!

* * *

Ray watched carefully as Kai stumbled into the living room and collapsed onto the sofa.

"How are you?" he asked cautiously.

"Sober...ish." was Kai's reply, his voice muffled from the cushion he had buried his head in. Ray laughed softly. "Thanks." He looked at Kai, startled.

"Thanks for what?"

"For stopping me. I would've been really embarrassed if you'd seen me drunk."

"I did."

"No…properly drunk…Ebs, explain please." Kai pleaded, rolling over to face the cat, which had sat down comfortably next to him.

_Kai classifies himself as thoroughly pissed when the room starts changing shape. Or when he hits the floor, whichever comes first. _Ebony purred, nuzzling Kai affectionately. Ray winced, imagining it.

"Yeah, not so nice, huh?" Kai mumbled, slowly pulling himself upright. "Bloody alcohol, always makes me sleepy…" He rubbed his temples wearily.

"You want to go to bed, then?" Ray asked. Kai shook his head.

"Not yet. S'only, what, half-nine? You got anything that might keep me awake for a bit?"

_Oh, I'm sure I could think of a few things - Shut it, brain! Great, now I'm talking to my own head. This day just keeps getting better and better! _Ray stopped himself from going completely off the subject, and thought. His face suddenly lit up.

"Yeah, I've got something. Wait there." He dashed out of the room, barely even hearing Kai's grumpy "Like I'm gonna go anywhere."

* * *

The second that Ray was gone, Kai rolled over and jammed his hand down the side of the sofa. Sharp claws pressing into his neck made him stop abruptly.

_You touch that bottle, Kai, and I'll call Ray._

"But, Ebs!" Kai pleaded."I _need_ another drink!"

_No you don't!_

"I do! I need to forget about…" He trailed off. Ebony narrowed her eyes.

_Forget about what, Kai?_ she asked icily.

"About…" He trailed off again. How could he tell Ebony what he needed to forget? He needed to forget about how Ray had leaned on him, how it had felt to hold the semiconscious boy in his arms, the trust in those beautiful, enchanting amber eyes, how it had felt when Ray's soft, cool hand had rested on his cheek. He needed to forget, because otherwise he would start to get ideas that weren't going to happen, couldn't ever happen. Drink was the only thing that would blank it out, would numb the feelings... He pushed his hand further down inside the sofa.

_Kai. I don't gave a damn what you need to forget. Ray made an effort to stop you, so, for his sake at least, don't do it! _

Shaking off the cat's annoying voice, Kai reached once again for the bottle.

* * *

"Told you he would, didn't I, Ebony?" He started guiltily. Ray stood in front of him, arms folded. "See? I told you he'd go back for it." Ray's voice was cold. Kai gaped at him, in shock. "So, Kai. By all means, go and get it. You can drink until you pass out for all I care." Kai just stared. Ray's eyes were hard, disappointed, the normal vibrant glow faded. "Go on, then. It's what you wanted." Feebly, he pulled himself upright and sat as far away from the bottle as he could get, shaking his head.

"It's not what I wanted." His voice was a mere whisper. "I don't drink…just because I can…I do it to…forget."

"So do most people." Ray said flatly. "What makes you any different?"

_I've got so much more to forget about._ Kai said silently. He opened his mouth, closed it again.

"I can't say why." he said finally. "But believe me, I won't touch another drop tonight." He could see Ray looking at him sceptically. "I won't." he repeated firmly. Ray's face relaxed.

"Good. I trust you." he smiled. "Now do you want to know what _I_ do to forget?"

"Show me." Kai challenged. Ray bowed.

"As you wish!" He walked over to the brown/black chair, (not even Kai knew what colour it was), and picked up something that was lying there. Kai looked, and blinked in surprise. Ray was holding an acoustic guitar.

"You play?" he asked.

"A little." Ray said humbly, but the excited gleam in his eyes told Kai something different. With a grin, Kai pulled himself more upright.

"Come on then, you modest bastard, let's see this "little" then!" Ray nodded, sitting down next to Kai. He rested the end of the guitar on the arm of the sofa and set about tuning it. That done, he looked at Kai and grinned broadly.

"Let's go!"

Ray's fingers were nothing but a blur on the strings. Kai watched in undisguised awe, all thoughts of drink driven from his mind as Ray pounded out a popular rock song, note perfect. With a final chord, Ray stopped, panting, and looked to Kai for approval.

"Bloody hell!" Ray snorted with laughter.

"Is that good or bad?"

"Bloody good!" Kai exclaimed. A thought hit him. "What about singing along?" Ray shrugged, picking the guitar up again.

"Okay." He hummed quietly for a minute, plucking at various strings, then nodded in satisfaction. "All right then. This one's a slow one. I can't sing along to rock." He played the introduction, then closed his eyes.

"_People say that you're useless,_

_They say you're a nobody,_

_But you're not a nobody,_

_To this somebody."_

Once again, Kai looked in absolute awe. Ray's quiet voice sang on. Rich, strong, with a hint of what Kai had heard described as "smokiness". His fingers slipped easily over the strings as he sang, head bowed, yet not looking at what he was playing, eyes closed.

_Listen, you stupid boy!_ Ebony hissed, jumping up onto his lap. _You've missed half the song!_

"_You're hard, you're cold,_

_You're selfish and recklessly bold._

_But there's something inside of you,_

_That helps me carry on…."_

Ray's fingers started to move faster as the song moved into the final stage. For just a second, his eyes flickered open to check his fingering, then closed again as he took a deep breath, the instrumental ending, the song building, rising…

"_Maybe you're not the person I think you are._

_Maybe everyone else is right._

_But I don't care, I don't give a damn._

_You're everything to me._

_You're the one I want to wake up next to,_

_The one I love more than anything else,_

_You're the reason I'm still here,_

_You're not a nobody…_

_You're a somebody…_

_To me."_

The song hung in the air as Ray slowly, softly, played the final chords. Silence fell. Ray slowly opened his eyes and blew out a long breath.

"Whoa. I haven't sung that one in a while. Mind you, I haven't played for a while either." He turned to Kai, a faint smile on his face as he saw Kai's astounded expression. "So, what did you think?"

"Fucking hell! You could make a _living _with that voice, Ray!"

"I did think about it once or twice, but I love blading too much." Ray answered. "What about you? You could make a bomb with your carving."

"That's just a hobby."

"You mean you don't love blading?" Ray teased. Kai's face darkened.

"No. I don't." Ray couldn't stop a gasp from escaping. "I blade because I've never known anything else, no other reason."

"Then why don't you stop?" Ray challenged. Kai frowned as he tried to come up with an answer. He shook his head, defeated. "I'll tell you why." Ray said. "It's because you do love blading. You need it, same as the rest of us. While you blade, you can't think of anywhere else in the world you'd rather be. You think Dranzer would stay with you if you didn't truly love blading, and him?" Kai scowled.

"I hate sensible people." he grunted and threw a cushion at Ray. Within seconds, a fully-fledged pillow fight was going. Ebony retreated to the safety of the hallway and watched with motherly pride.

_They're acting like kittens._ she thought fondly to herself.

* * *

Two hours later, at approximately quarter to twelve, Ray stood up, stretching lazily and brushing feathers off his lap.

"I'm going to phone the guys now, then I think I'm off to bed. What about you?" Kai rolled over from where he was slumped on the arm and looked blearily up at Ray.

"Huh?"

"Bed for you too, I think." he sniggered. Kai raised himself shakily upright.

"I'm not normally this tired-" he began.

"Yeah, I know." Ray said cheerfully. "Remember, I'm the one who used to wake up at three in the morning in the hotels and try to persuade you to get to bed!" Kai grinned. "So, I'll just phone the guys, then I'll see you in the morning, I guess?" Kai nodded.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" he said suddenly. "The bathroom's next to your bedroom. The door on the right."

"Thanks, I might've been kinda stuck without that!" Ray laughed. He turned and walked into the corridor.

"Hello?"

"Heya, this is Mr Granger. Who's callin'?"

"Hi Gramps, it's Ray."

"Yo, Ray, my man! How you doin'?"

"Fine, thanks."

"Cool. You'll be a wantin' to talk to ma grandson an' the rest, eh?"

"Yeah, please." There was a lot of scuffling at the other end, then Tyson's grandfather's voice rang out again.

"Wake up, ma peeps! It's your homeboy, Ray on the line!" Ray grinned, imagining the others dragging Tyson out of bed by his ears. A faint cry of "Stations, everybody!" rang out from the other end of the phone, followed by a lot more scuffling, then:

"Hey, Ray!"

"Hey, Tyson! What the heck you doing in bed at ten o'clock at night?" Ray demanded teasingly.

"We were gonna ask him the same thing." a second voice chuckled. Ray looked at the phone in bewilderment.

"Hello Max - Wait, wasn't Tyson on a minute ago?"

"Yep." The sound of muffled giggling reached Ray's ears.

"Oh for heavens sake, guys! Just tell him already!" Kenny's exasperated voice rang out.

"Oh, okay, Chief." Tyson said sullenly. "Right-"

"Tyson's house has three phones-" Max interrupted.

"So we're on different ones-"

"So that we can all-"

"Talk to you at the same time-"

"Which means-"

"That Tyson doesn't hog the phone 24/7." Kenny finished, stopping the two over-excited boys mid-sentence. "I'm sorry about them, Ray. You'd think they were five years old, the way they're acting at the moment!"

"Chief, we're World Champions!" Tyson yelled. "We're entitled to a little celebration!"

"Yeah, exactly!" Max agreed enthusiastically. "But, enough about us, how are you doing?"

"Yeah, living with the sourpuss can't be a barrel of laughs." Tyson chortled. Ray grinned. Hearing them again was good... "Oy Ray, you still there or what?" Ray blinked.

"Sorry Tyson. It's, like, midnight over here. I'm exhausted."

"What are you still doing up at _twelve o'clock _at night?" Kenny shrieked.

"Umm, being awake? I'm a big boy, Kenny. You don't have to tell _me_ what to do."

"Yeah, he tells me instead!"

"You deserve it, Tyson." Ray and Kenny said in unison. "Hey, Max, you still on the line?"

"Uh-huh. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure." Ray replied. He could hear a lot of moaning from Tyson, but Kenny managed to shut him up by suggesting that they go and give Dragoon a tune-up.

"Brill! Okay, seeya, Ray!"

"'Night, Ray." Ray groaned good-naturedly at the unsubtle hint.

"'Night, Kenny, see you later Tyson." There was a clunk as Tyson dropped the phone. Then silence for a few seconds.

* * *

"All right, Ray. How many have you had, how bad, and what did Kai do?"

"Huh?"

"Don't play innocent with me, Ray." Max said sternly. "Answer the questions."

"Hello? Is this the same sugar high Maxie that was on a minute ago? 'Cause if not, where'd he go?" Ray bluffed, playing for time.

"Ray, even Tyson noticed there was something wrong with you today. He's sitting in the kitchen giving me the "what's up with him?" look right now. I want an answer." Ray sighed. He should have known Max would be like this. Underneath the hyper, dumb blond exterior, Max was incredibly tuned in to his friends, and would turn serious at the slightest hint of a problem. Apart from Lee, Max was probably the person who knew the most about what Ray was going through.

"Ray. Answer me. Now."

"All right, all right! In order, two, one pretty bad, one passing-out-for-an-hour-and-a-half bad, and Kai made me lie down."

"Glad to see somebody's got their head screwed on the right way round. What did you do to make yourself pass out for that long?"

"I-"

"Oh, hold on a sec." Silence for few seconds. "Kenny says to ask you whether you were beyblading?"

"Yeah."

"Bit stupid, huh? Can't say I blame you though. I'd have done the same thing. So, you all right now?"

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Good."

"Did you know, Kai's got a cat?"

"He has?"

"Uh-huh. It's called Ebony."

"Cool!"

"Yeah, it doesn't seem to like me much, though."

"Just feed it. It works with Tyson!" Max collapsed into giggles. Ray laughed, imaging Tyson's face if he'd heard.

"Okay, Max, I'm gonna get off now. Talk to you some other time, yeah?"

"Yup. See you later, then - Tyson, let _go_!" Ray put the phone down, laughing silently, paused for a second, and dialled the village number, hoping that one of the White Tigers would pick up.

"Hello?" a rough voice answered. Ray grinned. Perfect.

"Hey, Lee."

"Ray!" Lee exclaimed delightedly. "How you doing, mate?"

"Um…trying to think of a word that isn't "fine"?" Ray said sheepishly. Lee laughed.

"Yeah. So, what you bin doing?"

"You want the quick answer?"

"Okay."

"All right. I've had a jolt twice, which was _very_ embarrassing, met Kai's cat, and watched Kai get drunk." Lee burst out laughing. "Oh yeah, and I showed off my musical skills."

"Cool. So, what's the cat like?"

"Temperamental, possessive, doesn't really know what to make of me, although we've had some conversations."

"In Cat?"

"Mostly, but, guess what?"

"What?"

"She can talk Human, and guess who else can?"

"_What_? Kai can _mind talk_!"

"Yep."

"Whoa. So, Kai got drunk, huh?"

"Yep."

"Lightweight." Lee scoffed.

"I don't think so. A bottle of vodka and five cans of beer is lightweight?"

"Ah. Right. On a scale of 1-10, with 10 as out for the count, what was he?"

"I don't know…maybe about a four or five? Sensible enough to have a pillow fight for two hours."

"Hm. Not bad." Lee commented nonchalantly. "What's up with you, then?" Ray froze.

"What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

"Come on, Ray. Spill! And I don't mean about the jolt!"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Ray protested. Silence from the other end showed that Lee wasn't giving up. "All right." Ray sighed. "Do you promise not to tell _anyone_?"

"I swear by Galeon." Lee said solemnly.

"IloveKaiwhatthehellamIgoingtodoLee?"

"Whoa, slow down, Ray! Say that again." Ray swallowed and took a deep breath.

"I. Love. Kai." he repeated. There was a long silence.

"Fuck." Lee said matter-of-factly. "Hey, Ray, are you all right?" Ray tried to reply but had to concentrate on staying awake as a wave of drowsiness flowed over him. With an effort, he answered.

"Yeah…just a bit tired…it's kinda late over here." Lee took charge.

"Right. This is what we're gonna do. You're gonna turn in before you collapse, and I'm gonna think about…what you just said. Phone me back whenever you wanna talk, I'm not sleeping much at the moment. Now, go to bed!" The phone began to buzz. Lee had hung up. Ray looked blearily at the phone, then hung it up and, yawning, made his way back to the bedroom and collapsed into bed.

* * *

Well? Opinions? If anyone's wondering about the song, don't report me, because I wrote it myself (hence the crapness) Review, please! Pretty please! 


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the next chappie! Enjoy!**_

* * *

_**

**_Before I take your bit-beast, Ray, I'm gonna put you through the wringer…_**

_**I don't get emotional very often, Ray. But when you stole that victory from me, you made me angry…**_

_**You're finished, Ray. Your heroic victory…drained all your strength…**_

* * *

Panting heavily, Ray jerked upright, hands convulsively clutching at the duvet.

_All right, Ray, _he told himself._ Just calm down. The battle was over a month ago. Bryan can't hurt you now._

_**That's just my way of saying "hi"…**_

_Get out of my head, you insane freak! Okay, Ray. Deep breaths. In…and out…and in…and out…that's it. Good. No more freaking out. Excellent._

Ray collapsed back down and stared at the ceiling, his breathing still ragged. The nightmare had been the same every night since the battle. At the beginning, it had relived every second of that day, but now it just contained random phrases. He hadn't been this afraid of it for…it had to be almost three weeks now._ God, why now?_ he groaned mentally.

_Are you all right in here, Ray?_ He was half out of bed before he registered the intruder's nonchalant voice and saw the twin points of emerald gleaming in the dim room.

Ebony gazed in shock at Ray, who sank slowly back down onto the bed, his heart racing madly. The neko-jin's amber eyes were wide with fear, his face ashen and slick with sweat. His long hair was wrapped tightly around his arms. As she watched, he seemed to realise this and detangled himself clumsily. _Ray?_ she asked. _What's wrong?_ Ray blinked, forcing himself to speak.

"Nightmare." he choked out.

_Do you want to talk about it? _Ray shook his head again.

"It…nothing…I'm fine…" he mumbled.

_If you're fine, I'm a green and purple spotted dog. _Ebony said sarcastically. She jumped onto the bed and began checking him over carefully.

Ray dragged a hand across his eyes, willing himself to get with it. A dull throbbing pain in his shoulder suddenly made itself felt, and he groaned in annoyance. He'd never get to sleep with that bothering him. Reaching under the bed, he fumbled around inside his bag until he found the box of pain-killers. Bringing them up onto the bed, he took one out and placed it on his tongue, hesitated, then took out a second one and swallowed then both.

_Should you be doing that?_ Ebony asked, a disturbing memory flying into her feline mind. She shuddered. _You're not going to do anything stupid, are you?_ she demanded anxiously. Ray shook his head weakly.

"No," he murmured. "But it's the only way I'm gonna sleep tonight…" His voice trailed off, the numbing qualities of thepainkiller taking over. Nervously, Ebony paced up the bed and gently nuzzled Ray's cheek. Ray mumbled something incoherent and smiled slightly, letting out a gentle sigh as he was overtaken by sleep. Ebony sat down and watched his sleeping face almost fondly, reassured.

_He looks so-_ She was cut off in mid-thought as a barrage of thoughts hit her ever susceptible mind. If the owner of these thoughts was conscious, they would be screaming in terror. Eyes widening, recognising the signs only too well, Ebony shot off Ray's bed and streaked towards the other bedroom.

_Kai!_

* * *

Ray came round slowly, _very_ slowly,and lay motionless in the bed for several minutes, trying to work out where he was. He was in Kai's flat, yes that was it. Damn it, he knew that he shouldn't have taken that second pill! Damn, damn, damn, damn… Muttering furiously under his breath, he sat up gingerly. His ears waking up faster than the rest of him, he heard somebody rush into the bathroom and throw up loudly.

"Hey, Kai?" he called weakly. "Are you okay in there?" Silence followed his question. Mind made up, Ray swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He waited patiently for the room to stop spinning, then made his slow way into the bathroom.

* * *

Kai leaned over the basin and vomited again, his stomach twisting agonisingly. Panting, he straightened up, then slumped to one side, resting his head against the cool porcelain. Eyes closed, he waited for the nausea to die down, both arms wrapped around his painful abdomen.

"Kai?" a voice asked him anxiously. "Are you all right?"

_What do you think?_ Kai snarled mentally. His throat contracted yet again and he lunged for the sink. He watched as the vomit trickled slowly down the plughole, wondering why it was starting to tilt sideways. God, he felt awful…

"Kai!" The cry of alarm ripped from Ray's throat almost without him knowing as he watched Kai crumple to the floor. Moving as fast as he could, he stumbled over to Kai's unconscious form and started shaking his shoulder.

"Kai? Kai, wake up!" Faintly, Kai heard someone calling his name. Concentrating, he opened one eye. _Wake up? Why did he need to wake up? He was awake. Wait, if he was awake, why was he lying down? Where was he, anyway? What was going on? _Panic rising inside him, he tried to lift his head.

"Kai, it's okay." _That voice again. He knew that he should know who it was… _"This is Ray, Kai. You're in the bathroom. You passed out. Can you hear me?" He blinked dazedly. "Can you try to sit up for me?" Ray sounded worried, he realised. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself a little way off the floor, and felt Ray slip an arm underneath him and ease him upright.

"That's it." Ray said encouragingly. "Now, we're just going to sit here for a few minutes. Is that okay with you?" A slight nod. Kai's eyes were half closed, but Ray had no doubt that they would be taking in at least most of what was going on. His own sight swam for a moment, and he put out a shaking hand to steady himself. Suddenly, a hand was at his shoulder, supporting him.

"Ray! Are you all right?"

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine." Ray murmured. "I took too many painkillers last night. They've knocked me out a bit. How are you feeling?" Kai shrugged.

"I've been better. I'm…okay, I suppose."

"What was it, a nightmare?" Kai looked evasive.

"Something like that."

"Mine was." Ray said quietly. "It was Bryan again…I hate being so scared of him!" he burst out, slamming his hand angrily against the floor. "Anyway, I'm gonna go and get dressed."

* * *

Ray swore irritably as he tried to brush his hair with one hand, his shoulder hurting too much to attempt holding either the brush or his tangled hair.

"Here, let me help." a voice offered. Ray was suddenly very aware of Kai as he came in and sat behind him. Kai dragged the brush through Ray's long, thick hair, stopping every now and then to tease out a particularly stubborn tangle.

Ray suddenly felt cold. Shivering, he leaned back against Kai, then turned and wrapped his arms around him, his cat side telling him to seek out warmth. "Ray? What's wrong?" Kai's low voice made him feel slightly better, but only slightly.

"I…I don't feel so good…" he whispered faintly. Kai felt his forehead gently.

"You're hot." he said abruptly, cursing himself for not noticing any signs before. "Come on, you need to lie down." Ray clung to him stubbornly, coloured spots dancing in front of his eyes.

"I'm cold…" Kai gently removed his clutching hands and held one of them carefully, feeling the feverish heat coming from it.

"Ray, you're ill." he said quietly. "You need to rest."

"No…no…"

"Ssh, ssh," Kai murmured, rubbing Ray's back soothingly. "Come on. Lie down." He tried to prise Ray off of him, but to no avail. Ray was shivering violently, both arms wrapped tightly around Kai, eyes half-shut and glazed. With a sigh, Kai used his full strength to physically wrench Ray from him and lay him down in the bed. Ray went limp, his eyes losing their battle to stay open. His head flopped to one side and his breathing slowed. Kai got up off the bed and looked down at him. Ray's face was peaceful now, his lips slightly parted. Kai allowed himself the luxury of imagining what it would be like to bend down and kiss those soft, full lips, to put his arms around that slim, lithe body and hold it close… He pulled his mind away from the enticing images and went out of the room. He had a lot to do today.

* * *

The doorbell rang. Kai opened it and gave a cold, emotionless smile at the couple standing outside.

She was aged twenty. Her delicate, oval shaped face was covered in a thick layer of make-up, obscuring her true beauty. She was dressed in a short, tight black dress, her long blonde hair curling attractively at her slim shoulders.

He was aged nineteen. The paleness of his angular face was accentuated by his navy T-shirt and black jeans, both close-fitting to his lean, rangy body, and his jet-black hair.

"You're early." Kai said simply, the Russian slipping off his tongue as easily as if he hadn't spent a year not saying a word of it. They nodded.

"Is that a problem?" the girl asked in a husky voice.

"No." Kai stepped aside, letting them through. "Business as usual?" The young man nodded. "We need to be quiet, if it's possible. I have a guest who is sick sleeping in the spare bedroom."

Two hours later, Kai shut the door behind them, fingering the five crisp notes in his pocket. It had not been a particularly successful meeting. His entire thought process had been taken up with the sleeping neko-jin, his mind carrying on with the images that he had mistakenly allowed himself. Because of his distraction, he had been paid less than half his usual amount and they had left with a darkly muttered comment about "decreasing quality of work". He spat after their departing backs, crumpling the notes in his hand. He looked blankly at the creased notes for a few seconds, then scowled and shoved them deep into his trouser pocket. He swung around and went into the kitchen, with half a mind to put the money in the blender, or soak it in boiling water. It was dirty money, filthy money, which didn't deserve to be kept. He pulled the cupboard door open violently, sending packets of food flying everywhere. Food… He looked his watch and was surprised to find that it was nearly three o'clock. He wasn't hungry, but Ray probably was…

_No, you just want another chance to gawp at him._

"Shut up, Ebs," he muttered. "Where'd you go?"

_You think I was going to stay there, with what you were doing? I-_

"Okay, okay." Kai sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. Today was not a good day. First, he'd had that nightmare again. Always the same one, why wouldn't it ever _stop_? He slammed his fist on the counter in frustration, then dropped into a chair and rested his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked. Kai looked up and saw Ray leaning against the doorway.

"I should be the one asking that." he replied, standing up. "How do you feel?" Ray shrugged slightly.

"A bit woozy, but I've definitely been worse." Kai nodded, forcing himself to look away.

"Do you want anything to eat?" Ray nodded.

"Yeah, I'm pretty hungry. You?" Kai shook his head. He couldn't have felt less hungry if he'd tried. "Oh, I don't want to bother you…"

"Nonsense," Kai said firmly. "It's absolutely no bother. Now, what would you like?"

"How about a salad or something?"

"All right."

Kai looked one side as Ray came in and sat down on the sofa next to him.

"Hi." He nodded by way of reply. "Do you want a drink?" He looked at Ray, surprised. Ray grinned widely. "I feel like getting drunk."

"Is that a good idea?" Kai asked distractedly. He was lecturing, but his heart wasn't in it. He could really do with a drink. Or several. "Oh, fuck that. There's beer and other stuff in the fridge."

Ray drained the last drops from his can, then sank back into the soft cushions. Okay, accepting Kai's offering of vodka had not been a wise move. He was _seriously _drunk. Beside him, he heard Kai, who had spent the entire evening drinking solidly, mumble something about how hot it was, and peel his top off. He looked, despite himself, and was instantly spellbound by the well-formed muscles, there without bulging, the taut six-pack…

Kai felt Ray's eyes on him and turned. Ray was staring outright at his chest, his lips slightly parted. The drink had made his amber eyes turn a faintly brown colour, like autumn leaves. Suddenly, something snapped inside him. He leaned forwards and pressed his lips to Ray's, his hands coming up to cup Ray's face.

Ray's eyes widened in delighted surprise at the feel of Kai's lips meshed with his, kissing passionately. He responded eagerly, running his fingers through Kai's hair.

_I'm dreaming…I have to be…_

* * *

Kai was lost, not noticing when Ray responded, his whole being was focused on the kiss. It swept his mind clean, banishing the depression that had been on him all day, the waves of heat pouring through him only making him press harder, Ray's mouth falling open under the force he applied. He drew back to take a much-needed breath, his head spinning. He reached out blindly to find a handhold, only to hit the floor with a bang that shook his already confused head, disorienting him completely.

Ray gasped as Kai slipped off the sofa, his eyes closing, his head snapping back and hitting the ground with a bang. He got off and knelt down beside him. Actually, he fell beside him. He had underestimated how drunk he was. Undeterred, he wriggled closer and put his arms around him, still not quite able to believe that this was really happening. Kai's eyes opened slowly, dazed and glassy. He gave a bewildered moan. Ray's heart melted.

Kai lay still, his eyes closing, his head spinning in circles. He didn't know where he was, he was hard pushed to remember _who_ he was. He moaned softly. A gentle voice was speaking to him, a soft hand stroking his cheek soothingly.

"It's okay, Kai, you're okay." He shrank away, his old instincts reasserting themselves. "Kai, you're safe, don't worry. You're safe with me. Just rest." He tried to get up, but any movement increased the nauseating feeling of vertigo in his head. "Stay still, Kai, okay? You'll feel better lying down." He felt a gentle kiss on his cheek, then a longer, lingering kiss on his lips. This was strange…the kiss felt right…not like the others… He felt the comforting presence draw away slightly and gave a protesting whimper, frustrated at not being able to do more than make these feeble sounds. "Ssh, Kai, ssh, you're okay now. Ssh…" He was kissed again, much longer this time. He responded weakly, making an effort to raise his hand. The feeble twitch was halted by another warm hand clasping it gently. "It's okay, Kai. Go to sleep." He didn't want to go to sleep, you were defenceless when you were asleep, the bad people would come and get you… "Go to sleep. I'll stay with you, I promise." Despite himself, he drifted off, lulled by the tender, calming voice and the hand still stroking his cheek.

* * *

This is the penultimate chapter, ie, there's only one more to go, but I still need (want) reviews! Thank you! 


	5. Chapter 5

This is the final chapter!I apologise for any OOCness, I did write this like, a year and a half ago.

* * *

Kai opened his eyes. His head was throbbing violently, sending waves of pain through him, distorting his sight. He groaned and brought up a hand to clutch at it, shutting his eyes hurriedly.

"Well, Kai, if you will drink so much…" a teasing voice told him. He relaxed as someone leaned in and kissed him affectionately on the forehead. He moved until he was pressing up against them, their warmth easing his painful head. _I wonder who that is… _he thought dazedly. Slowly, the wheels started turning again. Ray…it could only be Ray… Momentarily, he relaxed again, before the truth hit him with the force of a sledgehammer. He pushed himself upright, looking wildly around the room. "Kai? What's wrong?" He hit Ray's hand away.

"I don't deserve you," he muttered, standing up unsteadily. "You're too good for what I am…" He overbalanced and fell, lying slumped on the floor. He didn't care anymore, he just wanted out of this circle of feelings: _want Ray, can't have Ray, want Ray, can't have Ray…_ It just wouldn't _stop_… Moaning, he curled himself into a ball.

"Kai, what's wrong? Tell me!"

"I can't have you…I'm no good…"

"_What_? Where'd you get that idea from?" Kai moaned again, curling up tighter. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the creased, crumpled notes. "What're these?"

"Filthy money…whoring money…throw it away…that's all it's good for…all I'll ever be good for…"

"Whoring…wait, Kai, you don't mean that you-"

"Yes! I do!" Kai pulled himself upright and stared defiantly into Ray's shocked face. "I do whatever people want me to. What_ever_ they want me to. Now, do you see why I'm no good?"

"I still don't get it…why?" Kai blinked. _Why?_

"Because…I just _do_." he said heatedly. "Because that's all I _can_ do." He pushed himself away as Ray reached out to him. "Stay away! I don't deserve you…you're pure…untainted…not like me…" He started sobbing, huge, wet gasps that shook his body. Ray nearly joined him, upset and frustrated. He still didn't get it, was he missing something? Where was Ebony when you needed her?

A sudden thought struck him.

"Kai…were you…raped?" he asked slowly. Kai nodded. "Was it…your grandfather?" Another helpless nod. "Tell me about it." Kai shivered and screwed his eyes up. "Come on, Kai. You can do this."

"He did it…all the time…whenever I disobeyed him or Boris…"

"How old were you?"

"I don't know!" Kai said agitatedly. "I can't _remember_ a time when he wasn't doing it to me! When I got to about eight, he started giving me to other people, Boris, some of the guards… All the time, he was telling me…this is all you'll ever be any good for…over and over…and I did what he said…because I was too scared to do anything else…too bloody _scared_!" He let out an angry snarl. "He even made me…do it…to someone once. Another misbehaver…and I did it…but, Ray, he was just this little, frightened boy, like I'd been, just lying there, staring up at me, begging me to stop it…and I - didn't…" Ray reached out for him again.

"Kai…I'm so sorry…" Kai moved away, a wild look in his eyes.

"Don't be! It's all my fault, if I'd been braver, then-"

"Then it would have taken Voltaire a bit longer to break you down, that's all." Kai opened his mouth to reply, looked oddly at Ray, and shut it again.

"I'm tired…" he whispered suddenly, all the fight and defiance gone. Ray went to him and hauled him upright with some difficulty. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed." Ray said gently. "You don't want to fall asleep on this hard floor, do you?" Kai shook his head slowly and began to walk.

_Watch him like a hawk._

_Ebony, where the heck were you?_

_Never mind that. When he wakes up, I'll bet you two cans of tuna that he'll try and kill himself. You've got to watch him._ Ray looked in shock at Ebony, who was pacing across the room.

_You mean this has happened before?_

_Oh yes, more times than I can count._

_How do you stop it?_

_I can't. I just wait until he tries to kill himself, then yowl until someone comes in and calls an ambulance. He's got himself sectioned twice._

_Why don't you try to talk to him, try to-_

_I've been with him since his ---- grandfather started doing this to him at the age of two. Don't you think if there was anything I could say, I'd have said it by now, you stupid half-caste?_

_I'm sorry, Ebony._

_Never mind that. Just watch him. Don't let him out of your sight._ Ray nodded, looking at Kai's still figure in the bed.

_Ebony…that nightmare he had last night…was it…you know…_

_Yes. A replay, if you like._

* * *

Ray jerked awake as Ebony dug her claws into his arm.

_You stupid, **stupid** little boy! I thought I told you to- _Ray tuned her out and looked towards the bed. Kai was lying on his side, mumbling agitatedly, blood pouring from a slashed wrist. Dranzer was beside him, the attack ring covered in blood. Ray flew to him, reaching into his bag and pulling out a handful of bandages. He took a deep breath, calming himself down enough to make a tourniquet around Kai's arm and pull it as tight as he possibly could, then start wrapping the rest of the bandages around the wound. He cast a quick eye over it. The bleeding seemed to have slowed, if not stopped altogether. It clearly looked worse than it was.

"I'm useless…filthy…" Ray lay down next to him and hugged him from behind.

"No, Kai, you're not!" he said earnestly. Kai ignored him, and started trying to tear the bandages off. Ray pulled his arms back, pinning them his sides.

"Leave me alone! I want to die, do you fucking _hear_ me? Let me DIE!" Kai howled, writhing in Ray's grasp. Ray leaned forwards and whispered in Kai's ear.

"No, Kai. I'm not going to let you die, because, despite what you might think, you're not useless. You're the bravest person I know, and I'm not just letting you die!"

"I'm nothing! A nobody! I don't deserve you!"

"You're not a nobody." Ray said quietly. That phrase…where did he know it from? Oh, of course! Wondering if he'd gone completely insane, he began to sing softly.

"_People say that you're useless,_

_They say you're a nobody,_

_But you're not a nobody,_

_To this somebody._

_You don't care what people think of you,_

_You just do it anyway._

_And if I'm ever scared,_

_I know where to come._

_And if you're ever scared,_

_You fight it off,_

_Because that's who you are,_

_And I love you for it,_

_More than words can say._

_You're hard, you're cold,_

_You're selfish and recklessly bold._

_But there's something inside of you,_

_That helps me carry on…._

_Maybe you're not the person I think you are._

_Maybe everyone else is right._

_But I don't care, I don't give a damn._

_You're everything to me._

_You're the one I want to wake up next to,_

_The one I love more than anyone else,_

_You're the reason I'm still here,_

_You're not a nobody…_

_You're a somebody…_

_To me."_

Ray let the final note drift away, leaving the room silent. Eventually, he felt Kai stir.

"I'm not…a nobody?" Ray shook his head, pulling Kai round to face him. "Y-You…love me?" He nodded furiously and took one of Kai's hands in his. "But…don't you care…about-"

"No," Ray whispered. "I don't care. All I want…" He leaned forwards and touched Kai's lips with his own. "…is you. I love you, Kai." Kai kissed him back, a fleeting touch on the lips.

"I-I love you too, Ray." Ray watched as Kai fought to keep his eyes open.

"Rest, Kai. You've been through a lot." He felt Kai's hand squeeze his.

"Don't leave me…" His plea was no more than a whisper, a breath of air. Ray kissed him again, cuddling up next to him.

"I'll never leave you, Kai. Not now, not ever."

* * *

Well, there we have it, people! I'm thinking about a sequel (why am I adding more work to my overloaded schedule?) Please, please review! 


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